英语笑话听力+文本：Computer problem电脑问题

Computer problem 电脑问题 I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, w

英语笑话听力+文本：Psychiatrist精神病医生

Psychiatrist 精神病医生 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. Doc, he said, I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy! Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come to me three ti

英语笑话听力+文本：Want a day off想请一天假

Want a day off 想请一天假 Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. Boss, he says, we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.We're sho

英语笑话听力+文本：What is the bad news?坏消息呢

A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results. Well Mr. Jones, I have some good news amp; some bad news for you. The good news is that you have only 24hrs to live. That's the good news? wails Jones, What is the bad news? The Doctor gives a she

英语笑话听力+文本：It worked有效

It worked 有效 Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and tol

英语笑话听力+文本：Waiting Room候诊室

Waiting Room 候诊室 There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born. The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, Congratulations you're the father of twins! He says, Great! I am the manager

英语笑话听力+文本：Business just started开张大吉

Business just started 开张大吉 A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the busine

英语笑话听力+文本：Turkey and football火鸡与足球

Turkey and football 火鸡与足球 The pro football team had just finished their daily practice when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Ev

英语笑话听力+文本：A Hasty Interruption轻率的插话

A Hasty Interruption 轻率的插话 The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her

英语笑话听力+文本：How did I do?我干得怎么样

How did I do? 我干得怎么样？ A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a s

英语笑话听力+文本：If Life Were Like A Computer假如生活是一台电脑

If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一台电脑 You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjust

英语笑话听力+文本：Parking Expenses停车费

Parking Expenses 停车费 A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security fo

英语笑话听力+文本：Turn Off Your Cell Phone 关掉你的手机

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started walking her way out. Excuse me, sorry, oop

英语笑话听力+文本：Three wishes三个愿望

Three wishes 三个愿望 A federal office worker finds a lamp in an old file drawer, and as he examines it a genie pops out. For his first of three traditional wishes, he wants to be on a beautiful deserted Island. Poof! There he is. Next, of course

英语笑话听力+文本：That's the difference这就是区别所在

That's the difference 这就是区别所在 A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, retu

英语笑话听力+文本：Poisonous snakes毒蛇

Poisonous snakes 毒蛇 A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. The son asks, Dad，are we poisonous snakes? The father replies proudly, Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son? Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!! 一个

英语笑话听力+文本：I would prefer the traditional service

I would prefer the traditional service 我还是喜欢传统的仪式 A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

英语笑话听力+文本：Pa won't like it爸爸会不高兴的

Pa won't like it 爸爸会不高兴的 It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. Hey Willis!! the farmer yelled, Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the

英语笑话听力+文本：Fat free油是免费的

Fat free 油是免费的 I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were drip

英语笑话听力+文本：E-mail电子邮件

E-mail 电子邮件 A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message. Unable to find the scrap of pape