Einstein and God 爱因斯坦与上帝 Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord...God, what does a million years mean to you? The Lord replies, A minute. Einstein asks, And what does a m

发表于:2019-02-15 / 阅读(26) / 评论(0) 分类 英语笑话(MP3+文本)

DUI violation 酒后驾车 Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he f

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Don't sell that cow 别卖那头牛 The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.

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Listen and Share 知行哈哈糖 A story 一个故事 词汇扫描 pathologist pathologist 病理学家 open up 打开 compromise 妥协 英文原文 As a speech pathologist, I often ask patients to tell me a personal story in order to get them to op

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【生词预览】 Absent-minded 心不在焉的 business trip 出差 portable 便携的、手提的 spouse 配偶 combination 密码组合 anniversary 结婚周年 【笑话原文】 An Absent-minded Husband I was accompanying my husband on a busine

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En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. Excuse me. That can't be on during the flight, I reminded her. Besides, we're over the ocean-you won't get a signal out here. That's okay,

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Only gravedigger in town 镇上唯一的掘墓人 词汇扫描 seminar ['seminɑ:] 讨论班 make up 补偿 insist [in'sist] 坚持 postpone [p?ust'p?un] 推迟 英文原文 One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a

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Mad at her computer 她生电脑的气 词汇扫描 impaired 受损的 animatedly 活跃的 swear发誓 英文原文 The community college where my ex-husband teaches is next door to the North Carolina School for the Deaf. One day he entered the comp

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Perfume and new marker 香水和麦克笔 词汇扫描 Instructional assistant 指导员助理 Second-graders 二年级生 Perfume 香水 Marker 麦克笔 英文原文 As an instructional assistant for a public school, part of my job involves teachin

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Listen and Share Succinct 简洁 词汇扫描 take class 修 课程 assignment 作业 succinct 简洁 英文原文 When my husband was taking a college English class, his teacher announced, For your assignment, I want you to describe yourselves in te

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Please speak English 请讲英语 词汇扫描 exterior angle (几何形状的)外角 corresponding 对应的 interior angle(几何形状的)内角 take notes 记笔记 英文原文 I'm a high school geometry teacher and I started one lesson

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Surprise, surprise 惊喜 词汇扫描 swing 悬摆 fraternity 大学兄弟会 porch 门廊 英文原文 Don't ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my

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What a rat looked like 老鼠是什么样子的 词汇扫描 posh 豪华的 slide 幻灯片 remedy 纠正 stow 安置 英文原文 Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspe

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Essence of things 事物的本质 词汇扫描 master 硕士学位 essence 本质 英文原文 Wondering why my niece, Charlotte, was returning to college to get a master's in philosophy, I asked, What can you do with a degree like that? Well, she ex

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Books overdue 逾期不还的书 英文原文 While working in the library at a university, I was often shocked by the excuses students would use to get out of paying their fees for overdue books. One evening an older student returned two books that

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I need a rich men too 我也需一个有钱男人 词汇扫描 jangling 摆弄某件东西 distract [dis'tr?kt] 转移或分散 英文原文 We were discussing the don'ts of public speaking in the PR class I teach. Don'ts include a man reaching into

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[00:11.27]Maybe it works 也许真管用! [00:21.85]词汇扫描 [00:25.55]Speech course 演讲课 [00:29.05]Honor 纪念 [00:32.59]Patience 耐心 [00:36.18]Remind 提醒 [00:39.66]Reinforce 加强 [00:43.64]英文原文 [00:45.31]During the colle

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【生词预览】 peer凝视, cheeky-faced胖嘟嘟的,concerned关心的,awfully非常地,heap堆 【笑话原文】 The Goldfish Is inside Your Cat 金鱼在猫咪的肚子里 Little Amy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbo

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He loves chocolate chip cookies 他爱吃巧克力块曲奇 An old man was laying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies. He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world. With

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Listen and Share 知行哈哈糖 A record stands forever 永远不能破的纪录 词汇扫描 reunion 重聚 coach 教练 modest 谦虚的 disclaimer弃权,否认 英文原文 Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walki

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