自考英语综合一上册 lesson 11

　　[00:00.00]Text

[00:02.69]The Joker(II)

[00:06.24]the stories went on even while the coffin 1 was being lowered into the grave 2.

[00:13.01]People held handkerchiefs to their eyes,

[00:17.76]but their tears were tears of laughter,not sadness.

[00:23.69]Afterwards,there was a funeral breakfast,not sadness.

[00:30.04]It was attended by twelve of Henry's closest friends.

[00:35.79]Henry Ground had asked his brother,Colin,to read out his will.

[00:42.24]Henry had been in debt all his life,hadn't he?

[00:47.20]What could he possibly have to leave in a will?

[00:52.27]Colin cleared his throat,"Ahem!If you are ready,ladies and gentlemen."

[00:59.72]Everyone settled down and waitedc silently.

[01:04.47]Colin opened that will,and began to read it out in a singsong voice.

[01:11.13]I,Henry Ground,being of sound mind...

[01:17.48]last will and testament 3...do hereby bequeath..."

[01:25.05]The legal phrases came out slowly one after another,

[01:31.01]and the audience grew impatient 4 to get to the important part.

[01:36.57]It came soon enough.When Colin announced that Henry Ground,though knownas a good-for-nothing

[01:45.53]had invested 5 his money very wisely,

[01:50.39]and was in fact worth at least three-quarters of a million,everyone gasped 6.

[01:58.33]But who was going to get it?Eyes narrowed and throats went dry.

[02:05.99]"You are all such dear friends of mine,

[02:11.13]"Colin went on reading out Henry Ground's words in a flat tone,which,

[02:17.98]if they weren't so interested,would have sent everyone to sleep,"

[02:24.14]that I cannot decide which of you to leave my money to."

[02:29.60]Colin paused.In the silence,you could have heard a pin drop.He went on,

[02:38.43]"So,dear friends,I have set you a little competition.

[02:45.51]Each of you in turn must tell the funniest joke he or she can think of,

[02:52.77]and the one who gets the most laughter will get all my money.

[02:59.25]Colin will be the judge of the best joke."

[03:03.20]"So,ladies and gentlemen,"said Colin,putting the will down on the table,"

[03:10.28]it's up to you now.

[03:13.52]Who will go first?May I suggest that you go in alphabetical 7 order of surnames 8

[03:20.78]The first person stood up and told a very funny joke about an Englishman 9

[03:28.04]who fell in love with his umbrella.

[03:32.01]When he finished,he was in tears of laughter,

[03:37.65]for he always laughed at his own jokes.

[03:42.09]The rest of the group remained dead silent.

[03:47.42]You could tell from their faces and their eyes that they found the joke funny,

[03:53.90]but not one of them was going to laugh,and give him the chance to win the competition

[04:02.36]The second told a story about a three-legged pig,

[04:07.54]which was so good that,some years later,a film company made a cartoon of it

[04:14.90]When she sat down,the others buried their faces in their handkerchiefs,

[04:21.75]coughed,pretended to sneeze,

[04:26.19]dropped pencils under the table--anything to cover up their laughter.

[04:33.92]And so it went on,joke after joke,the sort of jokes that make your sides ache

[04:44.19]And nobody dared to laugh.

[04:48.76]Well,by the time the last joke had been told,

[04:53.12]every one of the twelve was sitting perfectly 10 still,

[04:59.00]desperately holding in the laughter which was bursting to get out.

[05:05.06]Silence.Painful silence.

[05:10.91]Suddenly,Colin sneezed.A perfectly ordinary sneeze.

[05:17.47]Then he took out a large red handkerchief and blew his nose.Bbbrrrrrrrppp.

[05:25.41]That was enough.

[05:28.75]In no time,everyone was doubled up,tears streaming from their eyes,

[05:36.30]their shoulders rising and falling as wave after wave of laughter swept the crowd

[05:46.04]Of course,they were not just laughing at the sneeze,nor even at the twelve jokes

[05:54.51]No,they were laughing at themselves as they realized that Henry Ground

[06:02.16]had led them into his last,and the funniest,practical joke,

[06:09.42]setting their need to laugh against their desire for money.

[06:15.98]When,at long last,the laughter died down,Colin cleared his throat once more.

　　[06:24.63]"I have been practising that sneeze for a week or more."he said.

[06:30.87]"Henry's idea,of course,"he added,unnecessarily;

[06:36.75]all twelve guests realized they had been set up beautifully.

[06:41.79]"My friends,"the last paragraph of the will began,

[06:47.14]"forgive me,but I couldn't resist playing one last little joke on you.

[06:55.01]It's good to know that your love of laughter finally overcame your love of money

[07:03.16]Colin paused,letting the meaning of the words sink in.

[07:09.43]Then he read out the final part of the late Henry Ground's last will and testament

[07:17.89]"My friends,thank you for letting me have the last laugh.

[07:24.55]As for the money:because I love you all,

[07:29.80]my fortune will be divided equally among you.

[07:34.66]Enjoy your share,and think of me whenever you hear laughter."

[07:40.93]The group fell shilent.For the first time that day,

[07:47.28]there was a feeling of sadness in the air.