【荆棘鸟】第二章 26

God, why weren't you older, so I could talk to you? Or maybe it's better that you're so little, maybe it's better . . . ."
  He let her go abruptly 1, struggling to master himself, rolling his head back and forth 2 against the log, his throat and mouth working. Then he looked at her. "Meggie, when you're older you'll understand better."
  "Please don't go away, Frank," she repeated. 
   He laughed, almost a sob 3. "Oh, Meggie! Didn't you hear any of it? Well, it doesn't really matter. The main thing is you're not to tell anyone you saw me tonight, hear? I don't want them thinking you're in on it."
  "I did hear, Frank, I heard all of it," Meggie said. "I won't say a word to anybody, though, I promise. But oh, I do wish you didn't have to go away!" She was too young to be able to tell him what was no more than an unreasoning something within her heart; who else was there, if Frank went? He was the only one who gave her overt 4 affection, the only one who held her and hugged her. When she was smaller Daddy used to pick her up a lot, but ever since she started at school he had stopped letting her sit on his knee, wouldn't let her throw her arms around his neck, saying, "You're a big girl now, Meggie." And Mum was always so busy, so tired, so wrapped in the boys and the house. It was Frank who lay closest to her heart, Frank who loomed 5 as the star in her limited heaven. He was the only one who seemed to enjoy sitting talking to her, and he explained things in a way she could understand.
  Ever since the day Agnes had lost her hair there had been Frank, and in spite of her sore troubles nothing since had speared her quite to the core. Not canes 6 or Sister Agatha or lice, because Frank was there to comfort and console.
  But she got up and managed a smile. "If you have to go, Frank, then it's all right."
  "Meggie, you ought to be in bed, at least you'd better be back there before Mum checks. Scoot, quickly!"
  The reminder 7 drove all else from her head; she thrust her face down and fished for the trailing back of her gown, pulled it through between her legs and held it like a tail in reverse in front of her as she ran, bare feet spurning 8 the splinters and sharp chips.
  In the morning Frank was gone. When Fee came to pull Meggie from her bed she was grim and terse 9; Meggie hopped 10 out like a scalded cat and dressed herself without even asking for help with all the little buttons. 
 

天啊，为什么你不大一点儿，使我可以和你谈谈呢？也许你这么小反而更好吧，也许更好一些……"
　　他突然放开了她，努力控制住自己，他的头靠着圆木，前后摇晃着，他的喉咙和嘴在抽搐着。接着，他望着她说，"梅吉，你再大一点儿，就会更懂了。"
　　"求你别走，弗兰克。"她重复道。
　　他笑了，笑得象是在呜咽："哦，梅吉！难道你听到了什么吗？哦，那没什么大不了的。主要的是今天晚上你看见我的事对谁也不能讲，听见了吗？我不想让他们认为你很清楚这些事。"
　　"我听清了，弗兰克，我全听清了，"梅吉说。"我一个字也不会告诉别人的，我保证。可是，哦，我真希望你用不着走才好！"
　　她太小了，除了能告诉他象假如弗兰克走了，家里还能有谁说出这类未加思量的心里话之外，她也讲不出更多的东西。他是唯一分开钟爱她的人，是唯一举她、抱她的人。在她还小的时候，爸倒是常常抱她的，可是自从她一上学，他就不再让她坐在他的膝头上了，也不让她用胳膊搂着他的脖子了。他说："梅吉，你现在是个大姑娘了。"而妈呢，老是那么忙，那么累，整个儿身心都放在孩子们身上和家务上。和她最贴心的是弗兰克，弗兰克是她那有限的天空中的一颗灿烂的明星。他似乎是唯一能从坐着和她谈话中体会到乐趣的人，他用她所能理解的方式来解释万物。
　　自从艾格尼丝掉了头发那天以后，弗兰克就无处不在了。尽管她遇到不少伤心事，但哪一件也没有伤透她的心。不管是藤条，还是阿加莎嬷嬷，或者是虱子，都是如此，因为还是弗兰克能给她慰藉呢。
　　可是她还是站了起来，努力笑了笑："要是你非走不可的话，弗兰克，那也没什么。"
　　"梅吉，你该睡觉去了。你最好在妈妈查铺以前回去。快走吧，赶快！"
　　这个提醒把她脑子里的事全赶跑了。她赶紧低下脸，提起了睡衣的后摆，把它从两腿之间抽了过来：她跑着的时候就像提着一条翻到了前面的尾巴，赤裸的双脚踩着木条和尖利的木片。
 
　　第二天清早，弗兰克走了。当菲把梅吉从床上拉起来的时候，她又严厉又干脆。梅吉像是让热水汤了一下的猫似地跳了起来，自己动手穿着衣服，甚至连那些小扣子都没用人帮忙扣。