艾伦脱口秀01 主持奥斯卡的利与弊

 　　So the other day I told you what I did over this summer. And I forgot to mention something pretty important,pretty big, I can describe it in one word, Oscar.

　　昨天呢我跟大家分享了一下我的假期，然后我发现我忘了一条很重要很重要的消息 用一个词来形容呢 就是 奥斯卡
　　My neighbor Oscar finally got his braces 1 off. He has perfect teeth so he only has to wear the retainer for two years, so that's good.
　　我邻居osca终于把他的牙套给取下来了 他现在牙非常整齐 所以只用再戴两年的固定架就行了 对他来说是个好事
　　and in addition to that, I actually agreed to host the academy awards again this year.
　　另外我确实答应了再次主持奥斯卡颁奖典礼
　　So...I hosted in 2007, it was fun, it was an honor,and it's a big decision,you know ,and I...I really...they called and said
　　我2007年主持过一次 挺开心的 觉得很荣幸 当然啦这也是一个很重大的决定 所以他们来电问我是否愿意再度出山时
　　how about it this year,and I was like,ehhh,it's a big decision,and I want to think about it.
　　我说 额 这是一个很重大的决定 我得需要点时间考虑考虑
　　And the way I deal with big decisions is,I think a lot of people do this, I make a pros 3 and cons 5 list.
　　我在做重大决定的时候一般都会列一个利弊清单 我相信很多人也都是这样的吧
　　And I thought I would take you on a journey inside of my mind, which is scary, hold on.
　　我本打算带你们到我得思维深处去逛一圈 可是太吓人了 先hold住
　　And I though I'd read you some pros and cons from my list that I... so umm...
　　我还是晒出清单 把主持奥斯卡的利弊念给大家听听好了
　　This is my cvs receipt, this is not...
　　这是CVS商店的购物小票 不是我的清单
　　That's...sorry.
　　不好意思
　　I keep that with me in case I have to return anything,at all times,always,even during...when I do a show, I always have it with me.
　　我一般都会随身携带小票以防要退货 随时随地哦 哪怕是在录节目 也不例外
　　Now it's in my sock.
　　不在兜里就肯定在袜子里了
　　That's where I keep my pros and cons list.
　　我的利弊清单一般都藏在这
　　Now I'm gonna have to change my hiding place,because...
　　不过现在我得再找个新地方藏了 因为
　　Ok, so here's a pro 2: I get to perform in fromt of 60 millon people.
　　好了 第一个好处是 我将会在六千万观众前一展迷人风采
　　Con 4: Oh my god, 60 million people watch that thing.
　　弊：额滴神呐 六千万人要看这个 压力好大
　　pro: I'll be invited to all the cool oscar after parties.
　　利：颁奖礼后我会受邀参加各大欢庆派对
　　con: I'd like to be tucked in by 7:30.
　　弊：可是我想在7点半前就上床睡觉
　　pro: Meryl Streep could get a record 17th Oscar Nomination 6.
　　利：Merry streep有可能创造17次奥斯卡提名的逆天记录
　　con: Hashtag we're over it,Meryl.
　　弊：我们已经无感了
　　pro: A lot of fancy designers will wanna approach me and want me to wear a beautiful,expensive gown of theirs.
　　利：到时候会有很多高端设计师来找我 想让我穿他们设计的大气上档次礼服
　　con: Ain't no way in hell I'm wearing a gown.
　　弊：头可断血可流裙子不可穿
　　pro: I've done that before,the second time should be even better.
　　利：我以前主持过一次 那么第二次的话应该会更受欢迎
　　con: My second sitcom 7 got canceled after five minutes.
　　弊：我的第二部情景喜剧当年只播了5分钟就被砍了
　　pro: If I'm on stage hosting,I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.
　　利：如果我在台上主持的话 我就不会窝在沙发里喝玛格丽特了
　　con: If I'm on stage hosting,I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.
　　弊：如果我在台上主持的话 我就不会窝在沙发里喝玛格丽特了
　　pro: The theater holds 3000 seats.
　　利：整个剧院配了3000个观众席
　　con: It's gonna take 45 minutes to dance throught all those aisles 8.
　　弊：我得花45分钟才能在所有过道里都跳一遍
　　Which is crazy,'cause... look how... It doesn't take me that long to dance through here.
　　那也太折腾了吧 因为 你们看看 在这里跳舞就用不了多久